Twenty-Ninth Post

REMINDER: I'm reading at the Ear Inn on Saturday Oct. 15th. read about it here: http://www.mbroder.com/ear_inn/index.html


A little quiz I stole from Mark Lamoureux:

1. Alias First name? matt is my first name. steve is my middle name.
2. Were you named after anyone?my grampa (middle name matthew) and my dad (first name steve)
3. Do you wish on stars?nope.
4. When did you last cry?i've been cautiouslyn optimistic for a long time. oddly, i don't remember.
5. What is your favorite lunchmeat?turkey
6. What is your birth date?12/11/79
7. What's your most embarrassing CD?there are many. probably Texas, or INXS.
8. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? i'd likely hate me.
9. Do you use sarcasm a lot?yes.
10. What are your nicknames?thumbs, evil fuckface
11. Would you bungee jump?i wouldn't pay to
12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?yes. who doesn't do that? the taliban?
13. Do you think that you are strong?nope. i am quite the punching bag though
14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?chocolate
15. Shoe Size?11 1/2
16. Red or pink?pink
17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?uh, i dunno, i'm neither unusually pessimistic nor unrealistic. i guess i'm too hairy.
18. Who do you miss most?Alys
19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?light blue jeans, white chucks
20. What are you listening to right now?the clickety-clack of the compuetr lab
21. What did you eat for breakfast?i didn't have breakfast. and for lunch i had wendy's
22.If you were a crayon, what color would you be?magenta
23. What is the weather like right now?blah
24. Last person you talked to on the phone?my mom!
25. The first things you notice about the opposite sex?personality/good heart/tits
26. Do you like the person who sent this to you?i like mark although i don't know him well. i like his writing too.
27. Favorite Drink?water/dr pepper. alcohol wise: bur.
28. Hair Color?brown
29. Do you wear contacts?no. tried to in eighth grade, but i was too pussy.
30. Favorite Food?uh, nothing comes to mind. crap, basically.
31. Last Movie You Watched?capote......................alright after that i watched serenity.
32. Favorite Day Of The Year?president's day
33. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings?scary movies, those HAVE happy endings, and the characters are usually covered in blood too.
34. Summer Or Winter?winter
35. Hugs or Kisses?probably. i'm not picky.
36. What Is Your Favorite Dessert?candy bars.
37.Living Arrangements?who knows? i've been on a couch for awhile
38. What Books Are You Reading?the Odyssey.....by Homer. collected Mayakovsky. In Cold Blood for the forty millioth time.
39. What's On Your Mouse Pad?it's not my mouse pad.
40. What Did You Watch Last Night on TV?i don't remember. seinfeld?
41. Favorite Smells?nope
42. Favorite junk food?any
43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?ROLLING STONES i can't stress that enough
44. What's the farthest you've been from home?portland, OR? or Ogunquit Maine. i don't know which is further.

That's the first and LAST one of those I'll do on here, okay? I promise this will not turn into one of "those" blogs.

And it seems as if my wandering is at an end: I may just pay some dude to live in Park Slope this week. The poem today is an assignment for Lehman's class: A poem written in the voice of a character from the Odyssey. I chose an obscure one and found myself doing things I don't normally do, like write about mythology and begin my poem with a quote. Please enjoy the change of pace with my compliments.

Here's my poem:

AIAS, COFFEE, THE UNDERWORLD

"Psst…..I hate it here."
-man in hell, Gary Larson's the Far Side

Being dead means
you know you were wrong
at least once,
and now I have the right
to turn a shunning shoulder
to the past, the gods
and their endless variety,
their bitter step-sister-ness,
who cares if they control
my finger's twitch, the storm-cloud off to sea?

We're happier than they are,
and the coffee here is great
and that’s the point.
See what they do
is grind up souls of servants,
heathens and the like
and add a touch of god-like
countenance (a hint of brain
or musculature, but just a dab
‘ll do ya) combine and stir,
and then they serve it black
as squid-skin and it goes down like a dagger.

It ‘livens’ up the weekend
sitting glum inside our ditches,
me answering mail from tourists,
asking ‘why did you hate the gods
so much?’ to which I dab my quill
in flat black blood and scribe
‘I shouldn’t have to explain
myself to you or them,
a man who’s fought in Troy,
who’s god-like and who’s nice
shouldn’t have to sink his ship
to make a point, what a world it is indeed.’

My office here is bland,
without a doubt, and the sea
rings in my dead ears like mockery.
‘Someone come down here
and kill me twice’ is
a common enough epithet,
but being dead means
I know that when Poseidon
brings the hammer down
and even Athena’s pissed
at you, I know that next time
I should learn to keep my cool.